the waves of the ocean called "love" has pushed me back to the land

there , you are sitting right beside me

here , i am thinking the few happy screens

damm , the screens turned ugly

no , i cant forget it

yes , its hard to accept it

slenes , pls try ur very best to forget u once enter the ocean called "love"


- By Nerdy @ 7:56 PM

seriously i need to get this idea "she dun like me at all" stuck inside my brain... you dun wanna get rejected twice do u ? love nids 2 players to be in it, look slenes , she already told u she like some1 else , why dont u juz believe her n settle wif it ?


yea man i know its hard but hey this is happening here now in FYP , i cant seem to concentrate now , my appetide for food has decreased , i cant finish my food most of the time, but this is different from NCS

this time theres my partner who would nag at me, telling me to do this n that, tats why i am not classified as "unproductive". oh well good luck to my buddy qi yea in his presentation later this week , kinda worried about him thou , but its useless , i cant even console myself , moreover help him , oh well , i am juz useless

i realli juz hope i can get over it soon , looking forward to the holidays cuz i wun be seeing u for 1 month , maybe i will forget about u , well maybe...but i will try


- By Nerdy @ 10:04 PM

i told myself to give it up , let it go, i cant...

stupid right ? we can only be friends , but i guess the love i let out cant be kept back by me in such a short time


i know its hard but i muz force myself to give up , someday eventually i will give up , i will try... all i can do...


Until the music end , so will the love...


- By Nerdy @ 11:51 PM

well the reason is tat 4 of us will eat lunch together , but the 3 girls will always be together n i will walk behind alone

she thinks i am lonely n she accompany me , n i am stupid enough to take tat pity as she is interested in me too , lol

stupid me eh , oh well , wats gone is gone ba

anyway presentation tml...good luck ba =)

btw sorry partner i let out my little demon inside mi out , sorry

been drinking too much beer i guess , nowadays go sch head a bit down , lol
sembawang park seems a good place to cool ur head i guess


- By Nerdy @ 1:01 AM

i still cant face her , i cant and dunno how , i stopped looking at her , stopped all eye contact...

maybe shes avoiding any needed talk wif me , i dun blame her , dun ever pity ppl n let them have a wrong idea as in how u feel , tats all i gotta say


- By Nerdy @ 1:30 PM

slenes juz got rejected...ok there u go , will give u 10 secodns for u guys to laugh ....
10
9
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2
1

ok times up... well dun ask me why , i dunno myself
now all i can think of is nothing , completely nothing
since many of u are concern so i am here to give u guys here an answer i guess

ok now simple , i got rejected , my gut feeling already response on sunday . i knew this is gonna happen but i dont know where does this small little thiny line thing call hope appear in my mind telling me not to give up , i didnt until the moment i open the box , there it is , a red color key chain and a little yellow note , yup , she chose friendship...

telling me shes not ready, gonna concentrate on her studies, sorry for wasting my time on her and that lets be friends forever

well now i dunno wat to do , wat to think , guess all i could do is juz get to my bed shut myself up and sleep throught this nitemare , in fact its not a nitemare anymore...welcome back to reality , guess i will be single ba , sorry to my mum that she cant have her little son's grandson to carry...

so i still have a record i didnt broke , the girl i chase , of the 2 , none of them accept me , ok there u go , i think it will be another 3-5 years till i got the courage to chase another girl , oh well , rejection maybe is juz a way of life , now i dunno how to face her tml , it juz didnt feel right...yup...

sorry guys , let me have some time to cool down , sorry...


- By Nerdy @ 7:09 PM

i dreamt of u agreed to be wif me , lol how i wish it can became true or maybenot

cuz i another scene of my dream is tat i quarrel wif my partner over project matters , damm isnt that a bad sign ???

cuz this friday her GUI part isnt very user-friendly n need to change a lot , lol
well all i did was cause her trouble , i hope i can do something to help her on monday...

for myself i juz need to change a tiny bit n tats it my daemon class is completed , hehe , actually i am quite lucky if i were to do GUI , i dunno how am i gonna die , hehehe

nowadays i have been sleeping at 10pm 9pm somewhere there ,lol
and yea hold on to patience and watch for the sign...i will do juz tat


- By Nerdy @ 8:30 AM

she told me dun force her, she will tell me when she have the answer

oh well , after all i can do is wait ba , hhaha

i didnt speak to her or see her face 1 time , she didnt lend me mp3 player oso , my jacket oso didnt lend her , oh well

i dunno how to describe this , i didnt do a single shit today , lol , all i could do is stare at the screen , stone there dunno do wat

haiz , sian , waiting or knowing the truth , which way hurts more , i got no idea , lol , but i still wanna know the truth , be it yes or no ba , juz wanna know , lol'

if it were to take u long time to think about it , maybe the answer will be yes , lol i aint sure , cuz it took u 1 week 3 days to forgive me , remember the first time we quarrel , yea 10 days...oh well , guess i will wait ba


- By Nerdy @ 7:59 PM

I CONFESS TODAY , LOL, well rather , i asked her to make a decision , all she said to me was she needed more time to think about it...

actually i already expect that answer le...
when i got back home i asked her wats stopping her , she cant tell me the reason
i asked 1 more , is there other guy in her mind , she asked me not to think too much

i am realli confused...she told me not to ask her y today but all the Ys are coming to my mind, floating around me, the devil here keeps on presenting the"give up, shes not interested in u" bubble , the angel on the other hand talk about the "hey she didnt reject u, juz wait for her to be more prepared"

then here i am , watching both sides present their stuff , having to make a decision....i know i can make the changes easily, so in the end i told her , i think we should stop seeing each other for a while ba , cuz doing that i personally think it will help her make a proper decision but it will lower the chance of me being wif her

so all i can do is wait n nothing else , this hurts more than anything...i dunno wat to do le , dunno how to face her anymore...i am realli nervous , i cant think of anything to say , by the time i got a hold of my courage , we are already under her block waiting for the lift, and i went up wif her saying i got soemthing to gif her.....all i could say is PAISEH , its all the way , her face were all red , my mouth cant open correctly , yes there are things i wanna say but i juz cant say it out , i hate myself...5th seph, i will always remember this day...the day i first confess to some1 i realli luv , i didnt get rejected or accepted by her, all i got is i need some time to consider actually a lot of time to consider...

i hope i can be the 1 u cant live without , promise u that this will be the last relationship u will be into , i really luv u , all i can say is give me a chance ba.....but if u cant for some reason , its really ok really...we can still be good friends ba

i hate myself now , wouldnt it juz be enough to meet her everyday , send her home , why am i so greedy , why...now that things have become this way...

damm i muz stop thinking about it , i muz go n sleep , sorry to let u make a decision between friendship and love , i didnt mean it , i will be waiting for ur answer...


- By Nerdy @ 7:40 PM

even though i alwayss aid i got no friends bah bah

come to think of it , aactualyl i have some good friends around me , lol

lets juz say my partner, qi yea, cynthia, my best friend of course if i nid outside help , lol

oh well , i guess when u lost something u will learn to cherish ba
for now i juz wish myself luck for monday , i am too nervous even if i were to think of it...i dunno how u will react, mi 2 i duno oso , lol

what am i suppose to do man...how will u react, wat am i to do after...sometimes i juz hate my partner, shes too playful liao le la, anything oso can joke but some things aint good to joke about i guess , oh speaking of that i am limit by her to "speak bad of my partner" 10 times per week XD

cuz my partner always complain tat i always say her "fat", "pig" n some other shit
oh well , girls are lidat de la , they say they dont mind , actually they do u know , lol

i am too native , believing that, haiz , sad...then now got this anoymous user hmm not wanting to tell me who she/he is , zzzz , doesnt that make u a stalker , its true i cant do anything about it , all i can do is close this site , lol , or even close the chat thingy, haha but i wanted to keep my posts , oh well

its a site to let my friends know wat i am doing nowadays XD so i wun close it
but its hard to maintain , lol , see 1 week sicne i have blog, i am a guy who have interest in everything except love BUT that interest doesnt realli last very long, i realli wanna make u happy XD but friday u like angry wif me haiz , all thx to my partner , the road to mrt tat day was like , u act as if u dunno me , walking in front of me...not talking to me...stepping on the esculator 1 step ahead of me , haiz , i felt so sad.....its like knifes pirecing throught my heart , pain...

i dunno man , somethings i juz cant tell u, i promised u i will not lie to u but haizzz , i realli hope the silent will begone XD

partner ah partner u say want me to be noisy , but i guess tats not something i can trust , i just hope the 10 chances will save me from her 3 weeks of not speaking to me , haizz

i love u but do u feel the same , i guess i will know soon enough so i will stop here for the time being...


- By Nerdy @ 12:25 AM