14 th , i lost my smile , even thought i smile doesnt realli mean i am happy , my colleagues asked me why so quiet , i dunno how to tell them.

when evonne showed me tat sms , i cant believe my eyes , my greatest fear came true , haiz

was working on an XML schema , wasnt very hard but nids lots of concentration , after seeing tat i lost it all , i cant concentrate AT ALL , damm

i am stuck between u and work , work can wait but u cannot wait but i decided not to sms u anymore until the day u choose to forgive me and my words , i wanted to sms u this "" but i juz cant , u will be more angry seeing me , evoonne is asking what i do to make u angry , after losing concentration for 2 hours sitting there like a stupid guy , i finally understand


this will be the last sms from me to u until the day u choose to forgive me , i love u and i will wait till the day u decide to accept mi into ur life.i am sorry


i got no mood to do work anymore , i dunno wat to do , i wanted to ask u to this sat bbq but i think its impossible , i realli hope ur sad because of me but no as jian yong always say at work " ni xiang tai duo le ", ur angry at me , i wish i can turn back time to go back to last monday where everything was ok , we will be bullying each other , sorry i sms u too much , ur not too good at saying " ni heng fan leh " , so i guess wo fan dao ni le , again sorry i didnt mean to hurt u , actually i wanted to bring u out for dinner n say the 3 words near the end of month which i promised u the meal but all this will not happen , i asked my bf for dinner today n nope he said hes busy i said its ok next time ba...then after 5 minutes he sms me saying hey u ok ma , u sounded liek shit...i dunno , maybe its time for me to get to reality rather than in my own world. been long since i ever dropped a tear , in the office , i wonder its work or izzit u , but i guess u will never see this cuz u hate me and i dont want it like this...maybe its too selfish on my part , its always iii and not uuu...i think i should accept ur decision , i dont find u a bother and i think i am a bother sms ing u once i get out of work , ur sms realli made me feel " not tired " but u will never be there for me again...i dunno how i will face u next sem cuz we r into BI , maybe we will not be in the same class , tat will save u from seeing me i guess. i am stupid for listening to jason, i will not drink again , i swear i wont , if ur wat jason says , i will stop loving u but i trust u thus i continue but why muz this happen now at this time...theres too many whys , i cant figure out , i am confused , theres too many questions in my mind and answering them will take days and ur the only key to the questions , asking it here will be meaningless but but but maybe u will step into this blog again , well i hope so , i dont want to let ppl see the fake me , i will express my feelings here , if u can accept my bad side then its ok.

i love u , do u feel the same ?
i am waiting for ur sms , do u feel the same ?
i smile when i see ur sms , do u ?
are we just friends or more than friends ?
i wanted to help u do ur report but u say " bu yao qian ni ren qing la " , well i am not asking for anything becuz its u , others its not the same
i helped revise my friends on OS calculations , i didnt ask nothing
all of this questions's answer is all i wanna know
it will lead me to 2 options , to stop loving or to continue
hope u can forgive me , actually deep down inside my heart i know tat even if u forgive me the friendship we have will not be the same , either it will be better which i hope it will or we will never speak to each other again and u will avoid me , if tat is the case i rather quit school , seeing the girl i like avoiding me is the worst punishment to me

if its the blog entries ur angry at , pls , i dont mean it i say i sort of agree but i trust in u , if i believe jason i will not continue this love , but i believe ur not that kinda of girl , u change le tats what u told me...i will wait , wait for ya forgiveness , wadever it is , i will respect ur decision , i believe i will , i have not given up and will continue to wait , if i ever appear in ur conversation or in ur dreams , tat alone will be enough for me...u always come first b4 everything else, i miss ur hahaha...something bah

thx for everything for u bring colors to my black&white
this is the longest post ever and it took me 1 hour to write this


- By Nerdy @ 9:51 PM